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H
izzonor the Mayor of the NorthEast Third has received under the
table contributions from "lobbyists" seeking delay of
subway construction in NorthEast.
"He accepted the 'donation' and promised to use his office
to delay the project," says our unattributed source. "this
is why the NorthWest section is being completed first."
Hizzonor's Press Secretary, Mr. Dewley Elekted,
characterized the allegation as "Completely, totally, 110%,
really really false, cross my heart and hope to die, honestly."
He went on to say that the Mayor fully expects to win an unprecedented
ninth term on the basis of his long record of accomplishments,
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including trebling the cell-count of the Third's
correctional facilities; quadrupling
the number of Blackshirts on Third payrolls; trimming bureaucracy; eliminating
unnecessary social programs; and clearing many of the wealthier streets
of the most obviously indigent. "Our commitment to educate the male
children of every Citizen remains absolute. The Mayor hopes the Senate will
approve his aggressive tax-reduction package. The Mayor fully appreciates
what the subway system means to the City and the NorthEast Third."
Hizzonor is not available for comment. According to his spokesperson,
Hizzonor is currently with his assistant
Miss Morgan on a fact-finding trip to Honolulu.
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