The TriadCity Adventurer

All the News that Causes Fits — March 25, 2014


Interview With the Vampire

By Occam, Special Correspondent to The Adventurer
Month of Goats 27, Year of the Dragon 7

Believe you me, I felt my horse and cart thump as I climbed those stairs. Heard the rush, felt the pulse. Fit to alley, I don't mind to admit, and a rough house of it. Some bleeding thing up there wants me for pudding. Bloody hell.

Why I paid such little bacon to decor is your sweet Tess and mine. You'd think I'd be gobsmacked by the penthouse of the bloody Ba Pef Hotel. No, not by that. By my hostess, who was so... so... compelling. I could look only to her, and though by Tom Jones I can't say what she looks like, I can testify that I've seen her everywhere in TriadCity, and so have you.

Occam:  The Central Computer itself has guaranteed my safety...

Vampire:  Now, now. [Her voice is soothing, like a mother comforting a frightened child.] You're my guest! Have some ginger ale.

Occam:  I was expecting...

Vampire:  Bloody marys? Blood sausage, blood pudding? I'm a strict vegan. Would you like some celery?

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New Stores in Virtual Vegas

Virtual Vegas' upscale Third Floor Galleria now hosts a half dozen trend-setting new shops:

  • Retro Denim: if it's not blue, we don't carry it.
  • Mary Quant Revival: Swinging London, without the untidy marching.
  • Queen Bee Salon: for the elite bouffant.
  • Wilder Western Wear: when only the finest chaps will do.
  • Hippie Heaven: '60s fashions, without the untidy marching.
  • Charisma City: if you want it bright, here it is.

Bring the kids! Bring the nanny! See you today.


New Films Showing in Merchant City

The Metropolitan Theater is proudly showing Fritz Lang's 1927 Expressionist masterpiece, Metropolis.

The Theatre du Roi shows Jean-Christophe Averty's 1965 film version of Jarry's Ubu Roi.

Zarathustra's Coffee House and Theatre shows key works by Eisenstein and Vertov.

Free popcorn! If you employ a nanny, you probably won't enjoy yourself.

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