TriadCity Message of the Day
2019-09-23

And they want you to know it.

TriadCity's entirely benign Vampire Theme Park is open for your amusement. What's inside? Our Vampire overlords are so glad you asked. There's a roller-coaster ride! Miniature golf! Blood sausage! A game where you dunk Sarah Michelle Gellar in a big vat of blood! Free movies! Uncle Vlad's world-renowned restaurant. A bar specializing in... wait for it... all the esoteric varieties of Bloody Mary you can possibly imagine, or we could anyway. There are lots and lots of highly educational exhibitions about the good things Vampires do for society and the naturalness of predation. And some extremely attractive nurses. All for the straightforward communication of one simple reality: Vampires are just like the rest of us, only better.

There's nothing there which will hurt you. We promise. Well — they promise. And we believe them.

Brought to you free of admission by your friends:

• The Chamber of Commerce of the NorthEastern Third
• The Merchants Association of the NorthEastern Third
• The Senate of the NorthEastern Third
• The Charismatics Club of the NorthEastern Third
• The Vampire Appreciation Society
• Hizzonor the Mayor

The Vampire Theme Park is at the northeastern corner of the Park, just south of Black Plaza. Perhaps unsurprisingly, it's more energetic after dark.

Wheeee!

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