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T
his is indeed a rare privilege.
For the first time in recorded history, the Central Computer,
guardian and political authority of the Southern Third, has
consented to be interviewed. Indeed, as far as is known,
this is the first time the Central Computer has ever spoken to
any person not currently seated on the Third's Council.
I conducted this historic interview in Poobah's low-key office inside the
Pancreatic League HQ, via an ordinary sound-enabled PC.
Occam:
I'm extremely honored to be speaking to you today.
The Central Computer:
Cut the crap.
Occam:
Yes. Indeed. It's my understanding that important new components have recently
been added to the Crime Net crime-prevention network. Would you comment?
The Central Computer:
The CrimeNet central database is currently undergoing operational testing. This
is an electronic archive of all actions which have been deemed criminal by
appropriate Third authorities. Of course, this includes the identities of the
perpetrators and, to the extent reported by the City's numerous electronic
conveniences, their current whereabouts.
Occam:
Reported by electronic conveniences?
The Central Computer:
Of course. Microwave ovens, thermostats, subway doors, elevator push-buttons:
all of the usual friends with whom I enjoy conversing around the clock.
Occam:
Splendid. Can you tell me who has access to this database?
The Central Computer:
Anyone designated by the Third authorities. By agreement between the Thirds, this
will automatically include all public law-enforcement employees and all licensed
merchants. The individual Thirds may or may not provide additional access as they
see fit.
Occam:
I see. You say this is a database of actions deemed criminal. How are
these actions recorded, that is, how do they become part of the database?
The Central Computer:
Through a variety of mechanisms, not all of which I intend to disclose to you today.
One of the most common is through citizen report. Citizens possessing personal CrimeNet
bioscanners can record crimes as they occur. Naturally, they'll be most likely to
record crimes victimizing themselves. Additionally, many licensed shops are in the
process of providing fixed bioscanners for the protection of shop staff and
merchandise.
Occam:
You say "bioscanner". What is this, exactly?
The Central Computer:
Little slow on the uptake, aren't we? A biomechanical device which
records key distinguishing features allowing 100% accurate identification
of particular individuals. Its samples can include fingerprints,
footprints, retina scans, DNA profiling, voice prints, olfactory
signatures, or indeed a variety of other unobtrusive techniques. The
result is guaranteed positive identification.
Occam:
And this is absolutely foolproof, you say.
The Central Computer:
There's an echo in there?
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Occam:
No. Not at all. I'm sorry. Once a criminal action is recorded, and the identity
of the perpetrator entered into the database, how does that perpetrator remove
herself or himself from the system?
The Central Computer:
She or he doesn't. That's the point. Authorized Third authorities may edit
the records, for instance, to establish a mechanism for pardons. At the moment,
no mechanism of this sort exists.
Occam:
I see. My goodness. So a person, that is, a criminal, once entered
into the system, is thus permanently, er, branded, as it were.
The Central Computer:
That's the idea.
Occam:
But, what about mistakes? Could an innocent person become stigmatized in this
way?
The Central Computer:
It's a computer, Occam. Computers don't make mistakes. They simply do as they're
told. If there are policy implications, those are up to the Thirds.
Occam:
Thank you very much. I see your point. Once a criminal's identity is
included in the system, what happens next?
The Central Computer:
As I mentioned earlier, authorized persons such as law enforcement and merchants
have instantaneous access to the database. Merchants thus may or may not choose
to do business with these individuals. By definition, law enforcement will
enforce the laws. It is my very strong suggestion that those contemplating
illegal and, I may emphasize, violent actions keep this in mind.
Occam:
The implication of what you're saying seems to be that those profiled
by the system will be permanently in danger of confrontation by
the first passing cop. And that merchants may refuse to sell to
them, or buy from them.
The Central Computer:
You're good, Occam. Really good.
Occam:
Yes. I see. Thank you so much. One final question before I collapse
from intimidation. Reports are circulating that a special force of
"stealth bots", reputedly all but invisible, have been
engineered for the purpose of tracking down and eliminating the
criminals unfortunate enough to be profiled within the CrimeNet
database. It's said these bots will be mobilized under your personal
control, and it's rumored they'll be set loose throughout the City,
not just within the Southern Third. Would you comment?
The Central Computer:
I will neither confirm nor deny those interesting and highly speculative
rumors, except to note the obvious fact that all bots within the
Southern Third are
always under my personal control. I will, however, note that my
programming specifically defines certain actions, such as
assaults on Surveyors or licensed merchants, as inherently anti-social.
I will further note that my programming encourages a strong personal
bias in these matters on my part. And I will close by noting my
complete personal engagement in these questions.
Occam:
I understand. Completely. I thank you once again for the privilege
of this historic opportunity.
The Central Computer:
I think you need to change clothes, Occam.
Occam:
Splendid. Quite right. I mean, of course. Thank you so much.
The Central Computer:
Fuggedaboudit.
The author thanks you for your reward. Please
login, then use the controls at left.
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